Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
