Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
