I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
