So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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