I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
