i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Couch. On fire.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
