I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
