I feel like abortions should bother me more
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
