just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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