Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
