the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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