My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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