..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
