It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
