yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
