I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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