i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize