Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
