spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
