your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
