Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
