K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
