And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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