do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
