her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
