I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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