After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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