I skipped work to stalk him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just gargled with NyQuil
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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