Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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