people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
