so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
