I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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