Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
