Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
A+ Viking dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
