The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
