I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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