I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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