i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
