please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
