If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
