I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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