can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
