Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
