Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
