I can text with my tongue
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
True strength comes from lack of pants
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
