just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
