im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize