That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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