I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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