No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
