no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
