im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
