the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
