so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
