After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
