I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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