So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
