I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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