yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
