Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize