You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
