I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
