OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
