She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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